Public Education

Yes my fellow man, you are special, just like everyone else in the motherfucking world.

Public education, college, equal opportunity, angry white folk who think they're fighting on behalf of black folk, university sports and oat bran; yep this blog has it all folks! For this particular post I speak about a subject near and dear; as it's damn close to the beginning of motherfucking school.

Well let's begin with what the schools instill into you from a young age. You're a bright eyed young child walking into his first day of class, perhaps a little shy of all the kids who're picking their noses and blowing spit bubbles, but you see toys and books and just think "Fun!". Then the teacher comes in, Miss Dickbreath, you stare at her ugly mole which looks back at you with an eye of it's own. The fatass, ugly nazi woman opens her mouth. The neckfat under her chin wobbles as she begins to speak "Children! You're in preschool. From here on you'll get good grades. Why? Because you're all special! Each and every one of you! And you'll excell academically and go to college! Sounds like an honor right?" you begin to soar high in the clouds of imagination, wondering what you could do with a diploma. You could be a lawyer, the president, a doctor, or even perhaps a great blogger like that Diogenes guy!

"Sounds like an honor right?" then... flash of lightning, Diogenes kicks down the door and looks to all the children to tell them the truth, the evil cackling man begins to speak the truth to the poor unsuspecting little denizens of playskoolland. "Wrong! You're all going to get about D+ to B- for the rest of your life. Then after that fucking unnecessary shithole you call elementary school you got another shithole! Middle school! Is that the end? NO! Then there's high school... finally you've reached the end. You can become a doctor right? Guess again you fatasses; you -have- to go to college. Why? Because you need a Master's Degree to Flip pancakes at the Ihop, or a PhD to be a Cashier at a liquor store. You're all gonna end up living in misery and monotony, why? Because you're -not- special. You're all little bags of drool and puke who'll end up being the cannon fodder for the American military!"

Ah yes... all the little kids are special aren't they? Each and every one of them can be Superhero Presidents who can see through (pretty) people's clothing with X-ray vision!

Forgive the angry prologue, but you forget where you are apparently. One of the stupidest mistakes the education system makes is to say "UR SPESHUL" and "U GO 2 COLLEGE". Yeah, College is no longer a prestigious school for great minds and thinkers to advance their academic possibilities. It's a place where stupid teenagers and socialists (same thing) go to binge drink and yell their opinions while doing panty raids.

My crack research team (wikipedia) makes the claim that less than 10% of total college students actually graduate and more than 50% of students in many of the great cities and universities drop out. They drop out? Yeah, some people are just not fit for college. Some of those people are intelligent, like Thomas Edison, Mark Twain, Albert Einstein... and some of those people are idiots (bumble fucking idiots.

Yeah, the hilarious thing is that now to make any kind of real living you either need a college degree or the ability to live with zero freetime... or be one of those celebrity jackasses but they're cheating. Most colleges are accepting less and less white men too (minorities are the new, hip thing).

Women who bitch about not being men, mexicans, blacks, asians, yeah they're all getting into college no matter how stupid (or in the case of asians, incredibly fucking brilliant). A young, starry eyed and accomplished white male with a will to help the world and an honest day's work will get squat. It's a numbers game.

The number? Six hundred and sixty five (screw 666).

Yeah, don't think I'm mobilizing you to vote or do anything stupid like that. I'm simply feeding your cynicism rather than trying to get you angry enough to press a dot on a piece of paper that means absolutely nothing you fat, fucking panzy (democracy is dumbocracy! Hahah... what, nothing? That was gold!)

The best thing to do? Bitch at a politician. Call them up, send them a letter, or beat them over the fucking head with an axe pick... oy... fucking hippies. Screw it just blame the fucking hippies.