Culture War

It occurs to me that we humans get a hard-on for war. Even an innocent pacifist japanese school girl is likely to get wet panties at the thought of a big, manly soldier crushing the skull of some defenseless child. None the less we love our war. Even if it's a war on a concept; anyone familiar with the War on Drugs? I ramble though; the point of all my fury this issue is another favorite war that's frequently brought up (at least it was in 2006). The infamous CULTURE WAR that supposedly is fought between social liberals and social conservatives. Both sides bring it up and tend to insinuate that the otherside is the aggressor ("HE STARTED IT!"), especially on cess pools of political talk like the O'Reilly Factor (*gag*) or political corners with CNN.

What is the Culture War though? Well my personal of intelligent superhuman scientists and researchers (wikipedia) claim that it's generally a metaphor used to refer to an idea of conflicting morality. We see at their ultimate dichotomies; one side has your average hippie as your foot-soldier. Hating meat-eaters, sucking Marx's cock, and commiting lewd acts with a ficus. On the other side of the great value dichotomy we have our bible thumping, money grubbing, suit wearing, christians as the backbone. Spitting on gays, lynching blacks, and of course fearing that someone out there is happy.

These are the two dominant sides, and generally speaking in this war if you want to win you have to pick one. If you don't you're gonna lose. Don't say you'll be an exception with your dynamic set of ethics because you won't be. You'll be a hack trying to emulate the literary archetype of a Mary Sue and likely getting sodomized by a biscuit for it.

Generally on the defensive would be the traditional values (*gag* values and morals leave bad tastes in my mouth) which is in fact widely satirized and on the losing end as we speak. On the opposing side would be progressive values (*gasp* god damn!) which although frowned upon during the Bush administration, has now become quite dominant. As the hippies and christians fight in the trenches we have our heavy units, the tanks, the bombers. We call them pundits. If regular hippies and christians are culture warriors, these fuckers are culture Juggernaughts. Their word against a million. Freedom of the press tends to be reserved for people who have a press.

Two sets of conflicting values... where does this seem familiar? Just about every bad teenage movie has a rebellious teen in it with restrictive assholish parents. This isn't just a new phenomenon either; this has been happening since before you were born. Most americans trace the culture war back to the 60s where hippies and nixonites got into a scuffle. While that might be true about our own modern culture war, it's something that happened before then with those fuckers who bend over for FDR's giant (government) cock and the scary businessmen of America. It's something that happened before then with the Flappers and the Old Traditional maids and wives. It has happened before then too! I assure you once you stop educating your child (or rather beating them into submission with a belt) they'll get their own ideas.

Imagine in the civil war for example that you were a plantation owner, with your good old fashioned racist family values. You see your son or daughter teaching Nigger Joe how to read a book. Now this would enrage you. You try to be a good father and beat the shit out of them everytime they say something about those negros being human (those filthy hussies). But they're influenced by all the culture coming from the North. It's the -cool- (or rad, or tight, or far out, etc) thing. Now once your done flaying the flesh off that nigger's back, you take that very same whip, and clean it off so your son doesn't get negro germs or herpes, and whip him too (how hot is that?). This "Culture War" has been continuing for supposedly 40 or 50 years but it's been changing ever so much. And we keep swaying back and forth between liberal and conservative like daisies in a breeze. But we'll all wither from it like daises in a breeze from a horse's ass.

Right now we swung back to liberal after having a heavy swing towards the conservative side. And we'll swing right back. Nothing will be 'fixed'. The new boss is the same as the old boss. But hopefully, to quote the Who, "We won't get fooled again!" (We will.)

Yours in every respect, especially sexually,
Diogenes of Utopia

No niggers, hippies, or christians were harmed inthe making of this blog.